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Should physical attraction matter in Christian dating

In the world we live in today, physical attraction to a potential partner is important to many. Christians are not left out of the picture on this issue, some of us are just as worried about being physically attracted to the people we choose to date. However, the question is, should Christians be worried about what our partners look like?

Some Church members have come to the conclusion that looks do not matter, whereas others conclude that it does matter. In the famous book by Stephan Labossiere “The Man God Has For You“, Stephan argued that looks matter. 

Here is my take on the issue: We know from scripture that God does not worry about people’s outward appearances, but the cleanliness of their heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 says “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart“. So, what does this mean? That you should not worry about outward appearance? I believe that before dating anyone, you need to consult with God first. God is the only one who understands the true nature of everybody. I believe it is important to ask God to reveal the true nature of this person to you, and whether this person is someone you can date. In my opinion, it would be wrong to imagine that because someone is in the body of Christ and a fellow church-goer, the person automatically qualifies as someone you can date. No! A person can be a church-goer and still be someone who is out of bounds for you, you need to ask God first. It is important to note here that, even if you are physically attracted to someone and God tells you not to continue with that relationship, you need to stop that relationship immediately. At this point, I will have to bring you back to the 1 Samuel 16:7 (quoted above). God does not worry about outward appearance in telling you whether a person is someone you can date or not. God would not worry too much about their outward appearance, but their true nature on the inside. God would worry about the true compatibility of both of you, and not the match of physical attractiveness between you both. Some people in churches start relationships without even consulting God first, sadly some of these relationships end in terrible situations. Some people even do the dangerous thing of getting married to people without asking God first. In my opinion, physical attraction should not be the most important thing, what God says about the person should be the most important thing. Let God do the choosing for you, I believe that God who chose this person for you, chose this person for a reason. A reason you will find out sooner or later, and it will be beautiful then. 


4 responses to “Should physical attraction matter in Christian dating”

  1. I totally agree with you, but unfortunately alot of Christians still choose to do things their way, Which of course ends in sorrow. When God chooses a partner for you, you’ve nothing to fear because He’s got your back. If there’s no physical attraction initially, relax and let God handle that for you. God is not boring as most people assume, He totally understands our emotional needs and will surely come through for you, if you let Him.
    I just love this God!!! 💜


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